Let Go
by omgwtfdenny
Summary: There was so much left to clear up; but time was against it. You died, I live - now I found you again between illusion and reality. Your eyes seek to reveal yet your mouth is tightly shut. So what are you hiding? What are you hiding from me, Azimuth? -A/R


_"You wanted to kill me."_

_"I didn't_ want_ to. I did."_

_"So those images are real?"_

_"As real as a corrected past."_

_"So you've killed me. You have really _killed_ me."_

_"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Look around you. So many pictures, all truth and lies at once. They are all reality, yet all illusion. Some never happened, yet they did."_

_"This doesn't change the fact that in some reality, in some timeline you have done it. In one reality you have killed me."_

_"How do you know that it wasn't just an illusion of what could have happened?"_

_"Your eyes are betraying you." _

-

Ratchet followed Clank as he was on his daily duty as caretaker. A week had passed since the Great Clock had suffered from the violent misuse. The traces were still visible; wherever one looked, broken glass and devices lied on the ground. Wires and cables hung down loosely, waiting for the little robot to repair them. That he did; and with every day passing, Clank restored another tiny bit of the Great Clock. It simply took a lot of time as there was only that much a small caretaker like him could handle.

The Lombax watched his pal swing his Chronoscepter back and forth, back and forth. Blue sparks encircled the broken machines as they reassembled themselves. Kind of surprising - such a small action could repair any damage done. The object could be broken into smithereens, destroyed until only ashes remained; the Chronoscepter would restore everything.

_Can it do the same to the dead? _

Idly his eyes rested on Clank who was busy repairing Mnemonic Station Iota. Blue flashes filled his sight and blurred his perception. Indeed. Could this Chronoscepter bring life back into the dead? It wasn't completely impossible, was it? It had to be an option.

"Ratchet?" The voice pulled the organic back into reality. Green optics blinked at him, a worried gaze in them. The Lombax stared at the robot for a moment before a smile cracked on his lips.

"Sorry pal. I must've dozed off."

"Oh really." Clank tilted his head. "You seem to 'doze off' quite often lately. At least often enough to make me worry."

"There's no need. I'm fine. I really am." Ratchet waved aside and turned around. "C'mon, pal. I bet you still have lots to repair." He stepped down and walked over to the exit. Blue sparks flew through the air and vanished before they touched the ground. The Lombax watched them idly.

_Is it possible? _

Light tripling reached his ears, and soon Clank appeared in his sight. A swift swing - the door slid aside and opened the path before them.  
>... At least the remains of it.<br>A sigh escaped Clank. Wires and gears were scattered all over the ground. Ratchet could see several broken light bulbs and a few large holes in the platform's surface; light flashes still sprung out of the damaged machines and dissolved in the air. What, however, made his companion tense up was this odd blue color surrounding the area. At some points concentrated, at some less, it covered almost every accessible spot in close range. The robot shook his head. "Stay close to me, Ratchet. It seems the damage Azimuth inflicted to the fabric of times is quite immense here."

At the name the organic winced. His fingers curled into his palms, his hands shivered as the sudden tension flowed through his arms.  
>One week had passed since the Great Clock had suffered from the violent misuse. One week had passed since Azimuth's death.<br>In that one week Ratchet had tried hard not to think of the deceased Lombax, even though his thoughts still revolved around him subconsciously. Now that Clank had mentioned him, Ratchet's efforts were rendered useless. Biting his lip, he prevented himself from giving in to the grief. Now was not the time. He could think about it later.

"Are you sure you are all right, Ratchet? My scans show me that you are disquieted."

"... I'm alright, pal. I'm alright." _Compose yourself. _"Well, then let's better get started with repairing it."

"Wait. I can see that something is bothering you." Clank narrowed his optics in worry. "Is it because of the general?"

The wince was answer enough.

"I see." The little robot looked aside and lowered his scepter. For moments they just stood there, silent, motionless; then the caretaker looked up and at the stars in the sky. "I understand your grief, Ratchet. Azimuth was close to both you and your father. He also was the first Lombax you've met." No reaction. "He must have been like a mentor to you."

_No. That's not it_. The Lombax's fists trembled. _This isn't the whole truth. _

"But in the end, there was no other option, Ratchet." Clank raised his scepter once more. "We had to stop him. We had to in order to save the universe."

"There were ways to save him." The words that left Ratchet were faint, but still heard. He turned to the doorframe. "I could have kicked on my hoverboots and shoved him aside. Or we could have used a time bomb to pull him out of there. Heck, I could have even traveled back in time to save him."

"It was too dangerous. You could have been killed. And time traveling would have only worsened the situation." With small steps Clank approached his friend. "The risk was too big."

"Risk is what makes us who we are." The Lombax's fist met metal.

"Don't turn into him, Ratchet. Don't be blinded by a slim possibility." Clank reached out for the other. "Azimuth was blinded so much that he even-" The robot broke off abruptly and covered his mouth. Ratchet's ears perked, he turned around and looked at his friend.

"He even what?"

"Nothing," Clank waved aside. "I seem to have mixed up something."

"... Oh." Ratchet frowned before he relaxed. "I see." His gaze fell onto the ground as he tried to listen to the voice of reason.  
>He had to accept it. Alister was dead. And there was no way to bring him back.<br>If only he could talk to him one more time...

The caretaker looked at him with worry before he turned away and directed his attention at the heap of work before him. "Let's go, Ratchet. Stay close to me, please - I don't know what effects the damaged time fabric can have." He waited for a response of the Lombax who, after another moment of reflection, nodded slightly and stepped beside him. A faint smile was shown to him.

"I'm right behind ya, pal." Ratchet followed his companion as they walked through the blue-toned environment. Again the little robot swung his Chronoscepter back and forth to mend the damage done, and one by one the machines were restored. The blue tone remained, though.

"Hm. It seems that I have to ask Sigmund for assistance." Clank tilted his head as he looked at the spots where the blue tone was really strong. "My father didn't mention how to repair such damage with my Chronoscepter."

"And Sigmund knows?" Ratchet leant against one of the machines. "Wow, hadn't expected that."

"Well, after thousand years you tend to learn some things." Clank felt a surprised gaze in his back. "He had been with my father until he left to Zanifar, so of course he knows how to repair this sort of damage."

"I see." The initial surprise subsided, and Ratchet stared at the blue aura before him. The robot looked at him skeptically, tipping at the hilt of his staff.  
>"Don't get too close to these rips, Ratchet. They might be dangerous."<br>"I know, I know. I'm not a little kid." And as that was said, Clank carried on with his duty. Ratchet glanced briefly at him before he stared at the blue aura. Since Clank was busy enough, he didn't have to bother him while he was carrying out his duty...

?

The Lombax leant over the machine and closer to the blue light. His eyes narrowed as he believed to see something in it. Blurred shapes appeared and vanished as the sparks met. Ratchet kept looking at the blue flashes, and the more he did, the more he thought to see familiar pictures, no, memories passing by. At the same time, though, he knew that those pictures weren't true, but only similar to what he had lived through. What was the meaning of this? Why did he see these images of-

Something white walked into the space behind the blue opening. No. White and _red. _Ears. Red striped ears. White fur. A familiar shape of shoulders. Unlike the images before, Ratchet could see them sharp and clear. His eyes widened as he opened his mouth; his voice nearly failed him as he called out.

"General?"

The ears twitched, but that was all. Ratchet did not give up, though - he leant in more and raised his voice. "General!"

Clank turned around when he heard the Lombax. He nearly dropped his scepter when he saw Ratchet lean towards the blue light, eyes widely open, his mouth calling out for a deceased. "Ratchet! What are you doing?"

"Azimuth! I know you can hear me!" As the Lombax only winced faintly, the organic curled his fingers and bit his lip. Ignoring the warnings of the robot, he reached out to the light before him. "Goddamn it! Don't ignore me, Alister!"

Amber eyes locked his. Without words, without another gesture Ratchet fell silent. The elder had turned around and now simply stared into the younger's eyes, motionless, unshaken. There was only slight surprise in his gaze, but for this much more... sadness? No. It wasn't sadness, but Ratchet couldn't put his finger on it. He only knew that something was off. Something was wrong with Azimuth.

He had to find out the reason.

"Ratchet? Ratchet!" Clank dropped his scepter and dashed towards the Lombax. "Stop! Don't get any closer! RATCHET!" He ran as fast as his small feet could carry him, but he was too slow. Ratchet had already jumped into the light.

-

_"You were everything to me."_

_"Was I?"_

_"Yes."_

_"Then why did you let me die?" _

-

Ratchet found himself lying on the ground. Although his eyes were shut, blue color filled out his vision. Although the ground felt firm, there was also the sensation of floating. The Lombax groaned, slowly finding his composure again. He pushed his torso off the ground and forced himself to concentrate. "Where am I...?" His eyes opened reluctantly, only to perceive a bluish white environment. Nothing definite yet firm. Ungraspable yet waiting to be caught.  
>Almost like time.<p>

Shaking his head, Ratchet recollected his most recent memories. He had jumped into the opening in the fabric of time. Why again? That had been dangerous. Why had he done that?  
>Because of Azimuth.<br>He looked around him. There was no general, no red around him. Had he been fooled by his senses in the end? Had it been wishful thinking that he had seen him here? No. Impossible. He knew that he was there. He had looked into Alister's eyes. It couldn't have been an illusion. The gaze might have been odd, but it was him. It was him. He was alive, somewhere in this irking place, wandering. He just had to find him.

One step, then another. He accelerated his pace as he ran around. Blurred images appeared beside him, again scenes that seemed so similar to what he had live through, but still were false.  
>No, some <em>were<em> correct. They were only hard to perceive in that mess. Ratchet frowned. What was that? Shouldn't time show only what had happened? Wasn't this the time stream? Then why were there scenes that he couldn't relate to at all?

After a few minutes of running the Lombax stopped. He didn't know where to look or where he was anymore. It was quite confusing, running through the time stream without direction, but that didn't bother Ratchet. He just had to keep looking with a bit more of a system. Or just start searching again. He straightened his body and resumed running. Even if it took hours, he would find him. He would find Azimuth. Following the path, he turned to the right.

It was then he hit something and tripped over it. With arms flailing he fell on the ground, his voice muffled by the unsteady surface. What the hell, why would there be anything to trip over-  
>His gaze was locked to the red-brown staff beneath his foot. The head of a wrench could be found at each end, glowing in a blue different from the environment. It seemed to be made of metal; at least it was that heavy. The Lombax gulped, almost not daring to follow the weapon. When he saw the white tail swiping over the ground, however, he could not be held back. Jumping up, he saw the familiar figure right before him, back turned to him. As it seemed, the other hadn't noticed. He simply sat there on a small bump, his posture revealing that he was contemplating.<p>

"Alister?"

A slight twitch went through the other's ears. His body straightened up as he turned around. Amber eyes locked green ones. "Yes?"

Ratchet didn't need anything else. Without hesitation he flung his arms around the broad neck so fast that both of them landed on the ground. Nuzzling his cheek against the other's, he kept calling out the general's name over and over again. Alister, baffled at first, slowly found his composure again. "Ratchet?" He asked, his voice distant. "Is that you?"

"Yes, of course it's me. Are you getting old already?" Pushing himself a little up, he looked at the elder. His eyes gleamed with joy as constant chuckling shook him. Ratchet couldn't help it, though. His wish had been granted. He had found Alister again, he could feel him. His presence, his warmth. He had missed it.  
>The unmindful jump into the unknown had paid off.<p>

As the younger clung to him, Azimuth blinked slowly. First with reluctance, then with hesitation he put his arms around Ratchet, his grip faint before it turned firm. Doubt was in him, but he shoved it aside. No matter where Ratchet had come from, he could at least enjoy this much comfort.

"I can't believe it..." The younger whispered. "I can't believe that I've got the chance to meet you again."

"Why?"

"I didn't think that I could speak to you again. You..." Ratchet broke off, ears drooping. His grip grew tighter as he refused to go on.

"Did I die?"

Ratchet was startled at the question. His fingers curled as his body tensed up. Hesitatingly his lips opened. "... Yes."

"... I see." The grip around Ratchet tightened as he pressed his face against the younger's cheek. "So you are from one of those timelines. Perhaps even mine."

"What?" The Lombax blinked. "What do you mean timelines?"

"... Nothing, Ratchet. Nothing." One of Azimuth's hands wandered up until it stroked over the back of Ratchet's head. A frown covered his face as he held on to the younger tightly. "I'm glad that you are here."

"I am too, but..."

"Please." The elder's fingers curled slightly. "Don't ask. I will answer everything in time, just..."

"Alright. I understand." Ratchet swallowed the question on his tongue. Instead he buried his face in Alister's neck. "I won't ask."

"Thank you." The general kept stroking the younger's head as he whispered into his ear. "And sorry." When Ratchet's ear flicked, he continued. "Sorry for what I have done to you... And what I have put you through."

-

_"If you had the choice, would you come back?"_

_"... I don't know. I don't know if I could take it."_

_"And if I stayed with you?"_

_"Would you want to stay with a murderer?" _

-

Ratchet looked at the blue tones surrounding them. Alister and he had sat up and leant against the wall. Well, to be fair, Ratchet was sitting in front of Azimuth, the other's arms around him. Relaxing against the elder, the Lombax enjoyed the tranquility of the time stream. There was no haste, no pressure. Everything seemed to be floating along the way it wanted.  
>What a change to the life he normally led.<p>

As he had noticed, Alister wasn't wearing his armor. Instead he was in more or less casual wear, with a short-sleeved dark red jacket and a simple black T-shirt beneath. The trousers weren't the same either; much more of a casual nature, they seemed comfortable yet fitting. Ratchet found it surprising to see Azimuth wear boots, too - black and quite like his own. Just a tad less... covered with belts.  
>The younger himself wasn't in his usual gear either. He was wearing a thin jacket over a T-shirt as well, only that they were of blue color. A necklace, wrapped tightly around his neck, covered a small spot where the fur was slowly growing back again. Two belts crossed each other at his hip, and the trousers were still the same as with the holo-armor. Everything together, the tranquil atmosphere, the comfortable clothing made it so nice to simply sit there, knowing that the other one was still here.<p>

"You don't mind this position?" Ratchet lifted his head and looked into amber eyes, a broad grin on his lips as he shook his head. To underline his answer, he nuzzled against the other's torso.

"If I minded, I wouldn't sit here with you, would I?" Ratchet reached for Azimuth's arm before his torso and held onto it. "I really like it like this." He looked ahead again. "Besides, it isn't like this is the most intimate moment we've shared till now."

"... Heh." The elder rested his head on the younger's, a faint, but content sigh leaving him. "True. That is, if you and I recall the same. But, from all I've gathered, your timeline must be the same as mine, or at least a damn similar one."

"What do you mean with timeline?" Ratchet tipped onto Azimuth's arm as he wanted to avoid this question again. "Ah-ah-ah. You said you'd explain it now. So what do you mean?"

The elder fell silent. He slid down a little so that Ratchet lied halfway on him and sighed lowly before he spoke. "... Do you still have your necklace? The one I gave you to... cover that spot?"

"What?" Ratchet blinked. Why was he asking that? "Um... Yes, I do. Look, I still have it here." He turned around a little and pointed at the small triangular shape covering the less furry spot. Azimuth looked at, no, nearly pierced the necklace with his gaze before he relaxed and sighed with obvious relief. The grip around the young Lombax tightened for a moment, leaving him stunned. "... Alister?"

"Thank Orvus... You're from my timeline. You must be. I haven't seen a similar one." His eyes closed as he pressed his face against the other's head. "Then I can explain." He loosened his grip and lifted his head a little. "Do you see these images?" He pointed at the blurry shapes around them. "They are pictures of the past. They float in the time stream like records, appearing and disappearing as they want."

"I see." Ratchet nodded slightly when another question popped up in his mind. "Wait! That can't be true. There are so many images that only almost fit. And even more that I can't even remember." He waved towards one image in which there were purplish-red creatures hunting them. "Like this one. We've never encountered a race like them, so how can that be real?"

"It is real. Just not for you." All of a sudden the elder shook his head. "... No, this isn't correct. It's all true to you, but not you as yourself."

"... What?"

"These pictures are all true, but at the same time they all are an illusion. They speak the truth, yet they don't show reality." He paused. "They are timelines, of what was, what could have happened and what should have been. They all are truth and illusion at once. Of course, depending on the timeline, one illusion becomes reality and everything else remains as such."

"... Wait. So they are all true?" Ratchet's ears perked. "I did meet these creatures?"

"Not you. Another you." Alister nuzzled slightly against Ratchet's head. The chuckle that left him sounded so hollow. "Which is why I was so worried if you were from my timeline or not. If you hadn't been from mine..."

The young Lombax blinked as he noticed that... Was Azimuth shivering? No. He must have imagined it. Why would the elder shiver at all? Then again... Hadn't he come here because he had found something odd in his gaze? So that meant that there was something wrong. But what?  
>Pressing his lips together, he reached up and cupped the general's cheek. "Don't worry." Whatever it was, he would find it out. But not now. "We're from the same timeline, so there's no need to worry. Your memories are not an illusion to me."<p>

"... Thank you." Alister leant into the other's palm. "It's nice to receive this kind of reassurance, especially if you always pass images that suggest the opposite of your memories."

"I figured." Ratchet stared into empty space, letting silence come over them. His fingers rubbed the fur slowly as they trailed along the jaw line. The other's warmth seeped through his glove, just as it did wherever they touched. The Lombax relaxed and breathed calmly, letting himself take in the other's presence bit by bit.  
>Yes. He had missed Azimuth a lot. He didn't deny it. He hadn't been able to accept his death at all; reality would have been too painful.<p>

Then again, wasn't it ironic that he had found Alister amidst illusions?

"... I heard you call me." The elder tightened his grip around Ratchet. "I knew you were looking at me too. But I couldn't answer."

"Why?"

"I've seen too many images where you shouted after me." A pause. He reached up and stroked idly over Ratchet's cheek, barely touching the fur. "I had enough from this misleading hope."

"Then why did you turn around?"

"You've known me long enough to know the answer." A bitter chuckle left him. "I tend to cling to hope, no matter how faint it is."

"Then you must've rubbed off on me." Ratchet lifted his head until he saw Alister's face upside-down. A small grin hushed over his lips as his fingers snuck behind Azimuth's ear, pushing the elder's head a bit towards his own. "I kind of couldn't accept that you died, so I kept thinking."

"... Thinking?"

"Yeah. How to get you back." Ratchet's grin turned into a melancholic smile. "Whether I could travel back in time to get you, whether the Chronoscepter could revive you." He chuckled a little. "I knew that this was only wishful thinking, but I just couldn't let it slide. I wanted you back before anything."

"... Hmph. I see." Alister smirked faintly, his eyes locking the younger's. His gaze seemed sad and content, but also ridden by that odd emotion. Before Ratchet could ask him about it, though, he continued. "Thank you." Then he leant forward, putting their lips together.

As Azimuth pulled back, the young Lombax followed him for a little, mouth slightly open as if he was still holding onto the sensation. Then he stopped and relaxed once more against the elder's chest, a content smile on his lips. "I've missed that."

"I figure that it has been some time." He returned the smile, before his expression turned indifferent. "How long have I been dead in your time stream?"

"About a week."

"A week?" The general repeated. "It seems like a much longer time in here. I feel like I have been stuck in this time stream for several weeks now."

"Really?" Ratchet raised his eyebrow. "Wait. Don't you need to eat? Or at least drink?"

Silence followed this question. Azimuth blinked repeatedly before he came to a curious reply. "... I must have forgotten."

"What? How can you forget that?" The younger turned around in the elder's grip and pulled himself up until their faces were on the same height. A reproachful gaze lied in Ratchet's eyes. "You should look after yourself."

Azimuth looked at him with a baffled expression, blinking due to initial confusion. Soon a smirk appeared on his lips, though, which quickly turned into chuckling. "The question is whether I have to look after myself like this at all and whether I can be considered alive or not."

"What do you mean-" Before Ratchet could continue, he placed his finger on the other's lips. Instead of words Azimuth looked into the younger's eyes with a gaze worth thousand words. As the Lombax realized the meaning behind it, his ears drooped. "Oh." Suddenly Ratchet jerked and grabbed his head. "HOLY crap! Does that mean I'm dead too? Geez, no way, right? No way that this is heaven! It's far too empty and... and... _blue_ for this!"

A chuckle reached the Lombax. Azimuth turned the younger around in his grip and stroked over his head. "Well, if that consoles you... You aren't in Heaven." His chuckling ceased suddenly as his gaze became stern. "You are in Hell."

"... What?" Ratchet blinked, ears drooping more than before. He stared into Alister's eyes which remained as serious as before, if they didn't turn even sterner. Slowly the Lombax started to worry, only to be baffled in the next moment when the elder burst into laughter and pulled him against his chest, holding him tightly. The chuckles were muffled as Azimuth pressed his mouth against Ratchet's forehead, his head still slightly shaking from the exhilaration.

"I'm joking, I'm joking." His arms wrapped around Ratchet's neck and head, his gaze truly content for the first time since they had met in this strange time stream. "This isn't Hell for you, I can assure you this." He lifted Ratchet up who, first disconcerted, stared at him reproachfully.

"That's not funny." Pulling himself up to the other's eye height, a frown appeared above his green eyes. "I don't know what I should think now. After all, you should be dead. At the same time, though, you are here and seem alive. Just... You must be dead. I mean, I was-" His fingers curled as he looked aside, swallowing his thoughts. "What should I believe? You shouldn't be alive yet you are here. I can feel you. You can't be dead then, can you?"

The smile on Azimuth's lips died away. He reached out for Ratchet's chin and turned his face back towards him, locking the other's eyes with a firm gaze. Then he leant closer, bit by bit, tilting his head as he did so. His breath brushed over the younger's fur, warm and steady. "And if you push aside all reasoning..." He whispered lowly. "What do you think?"

"... I don't know what to believe. I know what I want to believe, but..." Ratchet inhaled. "It's just that I... you..." The words didn't want to come out at all. His eyes shut as he bit his lip. "I mean, I have..."

Before the younger could continue Alister closed the distance between them and sealed his lips with his own. It was neither a forceful nor cautious kiss, nor a passionate one; it was to reassure, to calm Ratchet.  
>The younger blinked at first, surprised by the sensation. Then he closed his eyes again, returning the gesture. For a few moments they remained like this; then the general let go and rested his forehead against Ratchet's. "You haven't killed me." He hushed. "You haven't."<p>

The Lombax relaxed against the elder. His fingers uncurled as the next breath he drew was deep and steady. He had to calm down. Steady himself.  
>Slowly pressing his body against the elder, Ratchet wrapped his arms around the other's neck. Fur tickled him, just as much as warmth seeped into him. "I know. Just... I know I could have saved you. I should have. But I was too slow."<p>

"That might be. But what is in the past is in the past. You can't change it."

"Odd for you to say that." A smile ghosted over Ratchet's lips, just as it did over Alister's.

"Your words rang through in the end. Even though it was a little late." A sigh escaped him as he nuzzled his forehead against the other's. "If I had only known a little earlier... Then I wouldn't have done that to you."

"Done what?" Silence followed this question. Azimuth halted as he held his breath. When Ratchet looked into his eyes, he noticed that odd emotion had once more come over the other's gaze. The younger blinked as his ears drooped. "Alister?"

"Nothing. It isn't important." The eyes closed, the tension was released with a sigh. "You are all right, after all." He distanced himself from Ratchet a little so that he could look into his eyes, a teasing grin on his lips. "But aside from this... I didn't know that you were so captivated by me."

The golden Lombax snorted. "Of course I am! I mean- wait. I think this came out... very... wro... ng..." His voice had fallen to a lower and lower pitch as he saw the teasing grin before him slowly turn into a mischievous one. A nervous chuckle escaped him as his ears fell. "... Um..."

"Oh is that the case...?" Ratchet could feel how Alister's fingers moved upwards, tipping his back teasingly until his hand had Ratchet's head rest in its palm. "Intriguing. Very intriguing indeed. I will be so self-indulgent and take it as a yes, then." His eyes locked with the other's, a glint of rebellious joy in his gaze. "But if that is the truth...?" He moved in bit by bit, halting only a breath away from Ratchet's lips.

"There's no truth here," was the short reply. The younger closed his eyes as his hand stroked over Azimuth's fur. "But you know the answer."

"Well said. Then I shall use this to my advantage." The elder chuckled lowly before he placed his lips on Ratchet's once more, cautiously, teasingly until he pulled back. That distance did not remain for long, though. The younger leant forward and kissed him back almost impatiently, wrapping his arms tightly around Alister.

Azimuth relaxed against the wall and sled down. One hand still resting on Ratchet's head, the other snuck beneath the jacket. There it trailed down the other's spine, digging slightly through the clothes into his skin.

A low groan escaped the younger, muffled against Alister's lips. His mouth opened a little, giving Azimuth the chance he was looking for. First only faintly, then more teasingly he nibbled at Ratchet's lower lip as he slowly shifted their position.

Ratchet still held on to the general, his fingers rustling through the elder's fur before they dug into the skin around Alister's ear. As the other halted in his action and purred, he smirked and he let his tongue flick against Azimuth's lips. The elder took the tease and licked along the other's mouth before he gently pushed through.  
>A low moan left Ratchet at the touch. Tightening his grip, he pressed Alister against himself and played along, following the elder as the other distanced himself from Ratchet. Another peck on the lips, then the general lowered his head and buried his face in the other's neck, sneaking in between collar and fur.<p>

A chuckle escaped Ratchet as he pressed himself against Azimuth, his hand stroking over the elder's head soothingly. His cheek nuzzled against Alister as he mumbled lowly into his ear. "I've missed you."

"As have I." The elder smirked against the younger's neck, purring lowly from the calming touch. He brushed over Ratchet's back, fingers curling and splaying. His arms encircled the other Lombax and held him close. How calming it was, feeling each other's presence without pressure, enjoying the moment to its fullest. This was a form of luxury Azimuth couldn't have had before, and he was slowly growing fond of it. "This place has its advantages, just as much as disadvantages."

"Disadvantages?"

"... Nothing." He answered reluctantly. "There are none. Only the weight of realities feels like one." His body grew heavier, almost as if something pressed him down. "It's stifling sometimes, really..."

"Alister?" Ratchet looked at the other with worry. "Are you all right?"

Silence. Then a faint "yes". Sadly it wasn't very convincing, not with Azimuth holding the younger in such a needy way. Ratchet wondered about that. The general had barely been like this in front of him before, and those moments had been anything but pleasant for both to remember. No surprise that the Lombax worried even more.

Perhaps now was the right time to ask.

"Something is wrong with you, isn't it?" He felt the other tense up. "Something is bothering you. I saw it in your eyes before I came here."

"... You are wrong, Ratchet." His voice firm, but the body shaking. "Everything's all right."

"I don't believe you. I know what I saw." The Lombax frowned. "Is it that you still don't trust me?"

"It's not that I don't trust you, Ratchet. You know this. It's just..." Alister's fingers curled. "I can't tell you. I just can't."

"Why?"

Alister's tail swept agitatedly over the ground. He clung to Ratchet as if he was about to lose him again. "You would..." The elder broke off.

Silence came over them. Only Azimuth's tail moved around, unsettled, disquieted. Whatever he was thinking was bothering him - but as much as the younger Lombax wanted to know what, he did not probe any deeper. Instead he searched after the general's tail with his own and stopped it by clinging to the bush at its end. With his arms he encircled Alister's neck and held him close, not knowing why, but giving comfort still.

The elder relaxed against Ratchet, his breath calm and steady. Nuzzling his head against the other's fur, he wondered how long they could remain like this. How long he could enjoy this until-

"... What the- What is this?"

Azimuth's ears perked. What had the younger so startled? Distancing himself a little - it was surprisingly easy to do so - he first looked at Ratchet's face. Confused, eyes widened. He was staring upwards, evidently horrified by what he saw there. Alister gasped. No. No! It couldn't be- He turned his head abruptly to see it himself.

His heart stopped when he saw himself shooting at the younger.

Immediately his hand covered Ratchet's eyes while the other pulled him away from that sight. No. He couldn't let him see that timeline! He couldn't!

"What are you doing, Alister?" The younger struggled until he could finally see again. He was still being pulled around, without a word from the other. "Goddamn it, Alister! What's the matter with-"

They came to a still abruptly. Azimuth whirled around and grabbed Ratchet at his shoulders, glare agitated, no, frantic. "Did you see it?" He yelled. "Did you see it?"

"What?" The younger winced under the grip, utterly confused by the other's behavior. "What are you talking about? I-"

"Tell me that you didn't see it!", interrupted the general, voice raised to its fullest. Ratchet's ears fell under the sudden sound. "Tell me you didn't!"

The Lombax stared at the elder, blinking as he was unable to comprehend. His eyes locked the other's as he saw Azimuth's face so twisted by emotions. There it was again, this odd glare, guilt-ridden -  
>Something in Ratchet's mind clicked. It had been guilt. Guilt had come over the elder, even more than after the fall of the Lombaxes. But why? Was it in relation to that reality Alister had prevented him from seeing?<p>

"Please!" Azimuth's limbs shivered as he waited for a response, but none came. Only a startled stare, silent realization... Nothing else. Ratchet had to have seen it... He had seen what he had done.  
>Barely daring to breathe, he waited for another moment. Then he opened his mouth to scream, but only a faint whisper escaped as he lowered his head. "Please..."<p>

"I... I don't know what you mean." Ratchet looked aside, lips thinning as he did so. "All I saw was... That moment when you attacked me in the Great Clock. A moment I remember like this myself." He turned back and stared at Azimuth who still didn't look at him. "I don't see why you didn't let me view that timeline. It was mine, just Clank was-" A faint gasp escaped him as he realized what the slight change meant. Then, with a voice so low and shaking, he whispered into the other's ear.  
>"Alister... What happened there?"<p>

Silence. The shivers stopped. "I think you should go back now."

"What?" Ratchet frowned as he raised his voice. "No, I don't! I came here to know why you've looked so different, and I have not found an answer yet!" He waited for the elder to face him, but as he didn't, anger rose in him. "Goddamn it, Azimuth! Look at me and tell me-"

"I think you should go back now." More snarl than voice, it startled Ratchet. Amber eyes gleamed at him when Azimuth raised his head. His lips had turned into a thin line, his breathing controlled, but still uneven. Then a swift turn, a tight grip around his wrist - Alister started to run and pull the younger with him, regardless of the other's stumbling.

"Alister, stop for a second! Damn it, listen to me!" Ratchet tried to stop, but the other was too strong. "Why are you acting like this?"  
>The other didn't listen.<br>"Damn it! Stop already!"

Suddenly Azimuth halted; the younger ran against him. Huffing, Ratchet looked up to the general who still held his wrist, but didn't turn around.

"Alister..."

"This is it." He looked aside. Blurred shapes were visible past the blue wall. "You can return from here."

"I don't want to." Ratchet's lips turned into a line. "Not before I get an answer."

"There are things not worth answering." The elder turned to him, gaze again clouded by guilt. For a moment, they just stood there, staring at each other. Then, with a swift swing, Alister threw him against the blurry shapes. "Don't dare to come back."

"Wait! Alister!" His hand held on to the other's arm tightly, refusing to let him go. He would pull him with him, into his reality, and-  
>The grip dissolved. Azimuth's hand turned blue and transparent.<br>"What the-" That was all Ratchet could say before he fell through the rip and slid over the ground. Not that he could see anything - his vision had turned white as his senses had been dulled through the sudden ejection. Had it not been for a strong robot hand catching him, he would have skidded over the rim. His head throbbing with pain, the Lombax could barely hear what the mechanics said.

"Caught him, sir!"

"All right Sigmund. Then let's close the rip."

"No..." Ratchet freed himself from the robot's grip, stumbling onto his feet. "Don't close it yet." He stepped towards the blurry shape he assumed Clank to be, stumbling more than walking. "I have to..."

"I'm sorry, Ratchet. It's too dangerous. I will have to repair the damage."

"Wait!" Ack. A trip and he fell just far enough to stop his friend. Arms encircling the little robot, he refused to let go. "Just one more day. I... Need to find out."

"You shouldn't have gone there in the first place, Ratchet. The time stream is not for us to walk in." Clank tried to free himself, but in vain. "When we exit, it obscures our systems."

"There is something I need to know first. Something changed Alister." He paused as he felt tiredness creep up to his mind. "I need to know what exactly. I need to..." No. He couldn't lose consciousness now.

The time keeper remained silent at this request. He only looked at the familiar shape behind the damaged fabric of time, amber eyes meeting green optics. "And if I told you the reason behind it?" He asked his companion. The young Lombax's ears perked.

"You know it?"

"I do." Clank did not look away from Azimuth who was watching them closely. The robot could see that his hand was restoring itself. "And I will tell you."

"... Alright." Ratchet tried to hold on to his consciousness. "Just... promise me not to close the rip." With that, the Lombax slid off his companion, inexplicably exhausted. Sigmund hovered closer, bending down to poke Ratchet before picking him up.

"Shall we repair the damage now, sir?"

"No. Not yet." Clank looked at the younger, then again at the elder Lombax who still stood where he was. Azimuth was sternly watching Ratchet, worry in his gaze. "I think we will need it a little longer."

"But sir! We-"

"I still have something to settle." With that he stepped towards the opening, optics directed at the elder. "With you."

"I thought so." Azimuth did not look at Clank.

"You see what this short excursion has done to him."

"I do. And if he had remained any longer, he wouldn't have been able to leave anymore." The general's fist clenched and opened again. "Why don't you just close the rip?"

"Because I know that Ratchet wouldn't be satisfied with my answer. He will want to hear yours as well." The robot turned the Chronoscepter in his hand. "I don't know what kind of relationship you have, but..."

"I know."

"Good that you understand." Silence. The caretaker took a second to look at Ratchet before Sigmund carried him away. Then he turned back to Azimuth.

"I have a proposal for you."

Running.

Ratchet rushed through the Great Clock. Passing time locks, leaping over gaps - it didn't matter to him. No matter what obstacle, he would find a way around.

_"So, about the reason..."_

_"... Ratchet, do you really need to know from me?" _

He had no time to waste.

He finally arrived at the blue path. Most of the machines were repaired, as were most damages in the fabric of time. Only one window remained; the one that he had used before. Without reflection he dashed towards it, jumped onto the device and through the rip.

_"You promised you'd tell me."_

_"I know. But I am not sure if you want to know."_

_"Oh come on, how bad can the truth be?"  
><em>

The same familiar blue tone, the same indefinable surface. The same blurry pictures, the same timeless feeling. Ratchet ignored it all. The only thing he concentrated on was red. And he would find it. Now.

_"You wouldn't believe how terrible reality can be."_

_"There is no real reality."_

_"Then you wouldn't mind knowing that-"_

The Lombax skidded sideways with his feet until he came to a halt. Teeth gritted against each other as he rushed forward to the red he had sought.

"AZIMUTH!"

The elder turned around, an indifferent gaze in his eyes. As he perceived the Lombax, he did not move. When the other raised his arm, he did not budge.

Knuckles met fur. Azimuth fell to the ground, spitting out blood.

Ratchet splayed out his fingers and closed his fist again, his breath heavy and fast. Then he lunged at the elder, grabbing him at his collar and pulling him up. "You... YOU...!" He prepared for another punch, once more aiming for Azimuth's face. Instead he rammed his fist against the wall behind the general; his frame fell together. Voice broken, arms shivering, he forced himself to look at the general again. "You... You-"

_"... You are joking. You_ have_ to be joking!"_

_"I would not joke about something like this. He really did it. He-"_

"- killed me, didn't you?"

Silence. Ratchet stared at Azimuth's face, tried to find some emotion, some trace of regret - but there was none. The elder's gaze had become empty, just as much as that place already was.

The young Lombax was shaking in anticipation, waiting for a response. The only reply he received was silence.  
>Lowering his head once more, his grip grew fast.<p>

"Tell me you didn't. Tell me you didn't do it." His arms shivered. "Speak, damn it...! SPEAK! Otherwise I will think that you've really..." He looked up, only to be met with the same indifferent, empty gaze as before. "... That you've really killed me."

"So you've found out." The voice was as distant as last time. It was this distance, this tone of acceptance of this fact that got Ratchet. His head fell down again, only his grip remained firm.

"Why..." His voice cracked and fell apart. "Why did you do it? Why did you kill me?" He paused. No. No time for tears. Not now. "It was by accident, wasn't it... It wasn't because you wanted to, was it..." He looked up, only to see that Azimuth turned away. During the short moment he had seen the other's eyes, though, he believed to have seen a shadow of guilt.

Or was it just wishful thinking?

"You were in the way," was the brief answer.

"... What?"

"You asked for the reason. Well, you were in my way." Azimuth glared at the younger, cruel indifference in his eyes. Or was it just show? "You obstructed the path into the Chamber."

The Lombax on him stared at him with disbelief. Searching frantically for the glimpse of guilt, for a sign of remorse, his efforts turned out to be in vain. There was nothing in his eyes, nothing that would give his façade away.  
>No. There had been no façade at all.<br>Ratchet tried to compose himself. It only succeeded that much, though, as his voice was still shattered. "So you really wanted it." He whispered. "You wanted to kill me."

"I didn't _want_ to. I did."

"So those images are real?"

"As real as a corrected past."

"So you've killed me. You have really _killed_ me."

Silence came over them again. Only the heavy breaths of the younger were heard as he struggled to remain calm. When he found his voice again, it was void of emotions.  
>"You were everything to me."<p>

"Was I?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you let me die?"

The Lombax tore his head upwards, eyes filled with pain. "I didn't want to let you die! I didn't!" He pulled himself closer, voice cracking under the sudden strain. "I wanted to save you! I really wanted to, but... but I couldn't. I just couldn't."

"As I couldn't let you get into my way." Why was his voice so indifferent? As if he didn't give a damn about the younger?

It hurt.

"I see." The hands slipped away from Azimuth's collar as he slowly backed off. Bit by bit he distanced himself from the elder without looking at him again. "I... see." First one, then two feet were on the ground again. Ratchet had gotten up and turned away. "That was all I wanted to know." His fists clenched. "Good riddance, general." He stepped away, much slower than before.

"Wait."

The younger's ears perked; but the stance remained. "Why?" _Why did you have to call out for me again? _

"I... don't know."

"Hah. Smart answer." Ratchet turned around abruptly and stared into the elder's eyes. He wanted to see that emptiness again, this cold indifference to be able to let go-

All he saw was guilt.

The Lombax stared at the elder, confused, unable to proceed. Had it been show all along? Or was this just a cruel game of his? Either way, Ratchet looked away again; his gaze lowered.

"Let me ask again. Did you really want to kill me?"

Hesitance.  
>"Perhaps. Perhaps not. Look around you. So many pictures, all truth and lies at once. They are all reality, yet all illusion. Some never happened, yet they did."<p>

Hope came up. Maybe it had been just a cruel game. Cruel, yes - but not as cruel as the truth he had come here with. He turned to Alister, green locking with amber eyes. Maybe...  
>He could see it again. The same guilt that had ridden his gaze when he had first seen him through the rip. The same guilt that had prevented him from revealing the truth.<p>

One part had not been a lie.

Slowly the Lombax looked aside again. "This doesn't change the fact that in some reality, in some timeline you have done it. In one reality you have killed me."

"And if I hadn't?" Alister paused. "How do you know that it wasn't just an illusion of what could have happened?"

"Your eyes are betraying you." Ratchet's ears drooped as his shoulders hung down. "There's no denying it."

Stifling silence.

"I'm sorry for what I've done." Azimuth clenched his fists. "But there is no excuse for this. None at all."

"Indeed. There is none." Ratchet rubbed over his arm. "But that doesn't mean there is no way to forgive."

"What do you mean?"

"I have to correct myself. You weren't everything to me." Ratchet whispered. "You are." A bitter chuckle left him as he turned back, seeing a surprised Alister. "Yes, even after learning this cruel part of the truth, you still are everything to me. I'm pathetic." The chuckle turned into desperate laughter as he covered his eyes. "I suppose we truly are intertwined. So hopelessly intertwined."

No more words were exchanged. Ratchet had let his hand fall to the side and simply stared into the blue infinity. What was he waiting for? Some condolences? More hateful words? He didn't know. He just stood there, back turned to elder, ears drooping low.

Steps echoed. Then two arms wrapped around him, pulling the Lombax against Alister's chest. Ratchet was startled, struggled at first - but then he gave in. Let the elder hold him.

"I don't know how the hell I've deserved you." He buried his face against Ratchet's head. "I really don't."

"Heh." The younger grinned faintly as he reached up and held on to Alister's arm. "Life is just that weird."

"Indeed." A low chuckle left Azimuth, then he fell silent. For several moments they just stood there, Ratchet leaning against the elder, Alister with his arms around the younger. Their tails clung to each other as they swung lightly.

"Come with me."

"I can't. You've seen what happened to my arm when you tried to pull me out. It won't be any different when I try to exit as a whole."

The fingers around his arm curled. "I see." Ratchet buried his face in Azimuth's fur, hiding the frown over his eyes. "But..."

"But what?"

"If you had the choice, would you come back?"

"... I don't know. I don't know if I could take it."

"And if I stayed with you?"

The elder blinked in surprise at the proposal. Could he? Was it possible?  
>No. He had to listen to the voice of reason. Stick to the plan.<p>

"Would you want to stay with a murderer?" He replied.

"... Phsssh." Ratchet chuckled. "Well, if we are going strict by the definition, I am a murderer too."

"Ratchet."

"I know." The Lombax remained quiet for a moment. He inhaled slowly. "But the possibility is there. I could stay with you."

"Don't be unreasonable." Azimuth tensed up. "You shouldn't stay with me and you know that. You are not dead in your timeline; unlike me."

"There is no threat left. That is, if the universe doesn't smack another round of lunatic villains at us."

The remark made the elder smirk. "The possibility stands."

"I've had enough of the hero business. I need a break."

Not good. "Now don't be so stubborn."

"Stubborn?" Turning around his Azimuth's embrace, he looked at him reproachfully. "I'm deciding whether I want to stay here and leave the rest for you and you call me stubborn?"

"Yes I am, and rightfully so! You just don't want to listen to reason!"

"Says the one who didn't want to listen at all!"

"...! That's not true!"

"It is!"

"Not!"

"Now look who's stubborn now!" Ratchet pouted, waiting readily for the reply, and Alister certainly looked like he wanted to answer; but instead, a slightly annoyed, but much more amused chuckle escaped him.

"Really. Sometimes you are terrible." He bent down a little and placed his lips onto Ratchet's forehead, a smirk still on his face.

"Better that than nothing." A sigh left the younger as he closed his eyes. Then he distanced himself a bit only to lean forward again, kissing him properly. Slowly he snuck his arms up around Alister's neck, pulling him down to him.

The elder gave in to the kiss as he bent down. His arms slowly fell until they rested around the Ratchet's waist.

He didn't want to let him leave. He really didn't.

The younger played along as the kiss was deepened. He didn't even notice when Alister pulled one hand away; only that he was slightly pushed towards him. Not that he minded it.  
>The hand Azimuth had taken away snuck to Ratchet's wrist bit by bit. He pulled his arm down just as he did from the kiss. Resting his forehead against Ratchet's, he held the other's limb at his chest. One more tranquil moment surely wasn't too much to ask for.<p>

The younger sighed and opened his eyes by a little bit. His gaze rested on the other who frowned slightly.  
>"Alister?'<p>

"I hope you know how much you mean to me." The arm around Ratchet's waist wrapped itself tighter around him. "And how much I want to keep you here. Just..."

"... I wouldn't mind."

"I know." His lips thinned as the frown deepened. Then he let go of Ratchet's wrist, only to pull something out of his pocket - and before the younger knew, something golden yet bluish glowing was around his hand. " Just… I can't do that to you."

Ratchet didn't have time to answer; once more Azimuth sealed his lips with his own. While doing so he switched something at the bracelet, a faint beep sounding.

"You will hate me for this." He whispered. Suddenly he raised his hand and yelled. "Clank! It's time!"

"Wait what- Clank?" Ratchet blinked, confused completely. He looked at Azimuth who, with a bittersweet smile, stroked over his head once more.

"Farewell."

And with that, Ratchet was pulled back into reality. The blue dissolved and turned into blurry shapes that soon turned out to be the Great Clock, and unlike last time, he was quite able to stand on his own. What had happened?

"All right, Sigmund, time to close the rip."

"Yes, sir!" And this time, they pulled it through. Quicker than Ratchet could object, a blue flash lighted the area - and when it was gone, there was nothing left.

"Wait... What's just happened here?" Ratchet stepped towards Clank, stopped however as his head throbbed. The caretaker put the scepter against the machine and looked at his furry friend.  
>"Azimuth has sent you back. He and I agreed to work together in case you refused to leave the time stream on your own after talking things out." Clank sighed. "I knew you'd want to talk to him again, just as much as he wanted to tell you the truth. He simply didn't know how, thus I proposed telling you the truth in exchange for him irking you so much that you wouldn't want to go there ever again." The little robot looked at the bracelet around the Lombax's wrist. "And if that didn't work, he would use that device to force you back into our timeline."<p>

"Wait. So it was _you_ who suggested this whacked up scenario?" The organic stared at Clank with disbelief. "It was _your_ idea that he should screw with me so much?"

The caretaker remained silent for a moment. "... Yes. To save time."

"To save _time_?" The Lombax clenched his fist and slashed the air with it. "So screwing with me was only to get me out sooner? What for? It isn't like the universe is in an emergency or anything right now, is it? So don't you think that I- Argh..." Ratchet winced suddenly as he held his head. It was throbbing painfully. Of course Clank noticed it. He waited until the organic had calmed down a bit before he answered his question.

"I mentioned the last time that walking in the time stream and leaving it obscures our systems. Had you stayed any longer than necessary in there, your body might have collapsed more than this, or than last time. Or worse, you wouldn't have been able to exit the time stream anymore, just like Azimuth."

"But why?" Ratchet hissed lowly at the dulling pain. "I was ready to stay in there, just-"

_"He doesn't belong to this place." _

Ratchet was startled when he heard Azimuth's voice, only to realize that it was Sigmund playing the record. A nervous chuckle escaped the robot. "Ehehe. Was that the wrong moment? Sorry." Ratchet stared at him while Clank shook his tiny head.

"Either way. Azimuth didn't want you to stay in there, but to let go."

"Let go?"

"Yes. Which is why I let you talk to him again. He said if he could at least clear some things up, it would be easier for you to leave some things in the past." Clank sighed. "He just wanted the best for you."

"'The best for me', huh..." There was reasoning behind Alister's decision, he knew that. Just... Ratchet frowned, biting his lip as he looked at the spot where he had seen Azimuth through the rip for the first time. His fists clenched while he tensed up, eyes narrowing as he gulped.  
>He wasn't angry or anxious. Unlike the other time, he had found the answer he had sought. He just cursed that he hadn't had the chance to say good bye.<br>A snort. Damn that general. The first time he looked out for Ratchet above everything else, and he did that. Really, he could just slap him in his face.

Clank looked at him, slowly stepping towards the younger. "Ratchet?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine." The Lombax grinned at him, this time genuinely. "Come on, I bet there are more parts in the Great Clock that need to be fixed."

"You are right." The little robot relaxed before he picked up his Chronoscepter. "Let's go, Sigmund." With that he and the junior caretaker went ahead; Ratchet only stayed a little longer to look at that spot. For a second he believed to see a faint blur in the air, almost as if it was someone waving at him. But the illusion remained only for that long, and when he raised his hand in response, the blur faded. Slowly his limb fell again as his gaze did. Then he turned around and walked away, a faint chuckle leaving him.

"You were right. I hate you for this."


End file.
